Saturday, June 9, 2018

See Ya Soon

(Preface:  I supposed an introductory post to this blog should encompass a little more of what my family life is like.  I believe this gives a little more insight into who I am!)  

Long story short, I was previously married.  I re-married in 2016.  The transition was honestly a lot easier than I thought it would have been for my son.  This may be in part due to the fact that he was so young when these major life-changing events happened, but also because he's pretty much just one of those go-with-the-flow kind of humans.  Unless it's dinner time and he wants to fight me on eating everything put in front of him, as well as staying in his seat at the table until said meal has vanished down the hatch, of course.  

Cardinal rule of parenting: you can't win at everything.

Surprisingly, there are a lot of things your parents teach you when you are little that prepare you for divorce.  Things like, treating others as you wish to be treated.  Or, sharing.  I'd be absolutely lying if I told you any of this was always as easy as it sounds.  Yes, there are times snippets of my crazy have escaped me and ugly phone calls have been made.  There are times I've cried and felt overall this picture was unfair because the majority of the weight was on my shoulders.  But ultimately, none of this is really about me.  It's about him: Declan, my son.  Sure, I wish for my feelings to be taken into consideration but what is most important is that little boy's happiness.  

"Maturity is the ability to think, speak and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity.  The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations." -Samuel Ullman

Today touched on the subject of sharing.  My husband, currently in the oilfield, called to see how I was.  I cried a few tears into my coffee mug, packed a suitcase and carry-on, and drove my little boy to the airport to embark on a month-long adventure in New England with his father.  The departure was bittersweet.  It made me so very sad to see him walking into the terminal, but so very happy to see how excited he was.

Does it ever get easier?  I suppose some of it does.  So many times out of frustration, I have begged for a break.  And when the opportunity presents itself, I curse myself for each time I muttered (or shouted) those words.  I have to remind myself this IS good.  It is good for everyone in this picture: Declan, his father, his step-father, extended family.. and even me.  We have to remember that children need their breaks just as much as their parents do.  

I guess you could say this in fact is one of the perks of divorce: essentially guilt-free breaks.  My mom called to check in on my yesterday because she knew I'd be having a tough time with this.  She admitted how difficult it was never having a break (she had two kids available to drive her bat-shit crazy), and how beneficial it would be for me, knowing how much I've been needing the time to get this house together as well as to just de-stress from all the daily pressures at work.  She's right.  Moms are always right.  This will be an excellent opportunity to complete Declan's room makeover, finish painting my living room, READ, get a little sun, and add some more to this blog.

Trunks up for good luck! (Elephants pictured on outfits)

I will miss the hell out of my little boy, but I am excited to see all the updates on the fun he'll be having with his other side of the family.  I can't imagine the excitement they must all be feeling to have this much time with him, as well.  Memories will surely be made that will last them all a wonderful lifetime.



1 comment

  1. Beautiful words. What an awesome way to cronicle everything to look back on later in life.


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